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Creating Joy and Traditions in Loss

Prior to Covid, we spent Christmas with my brother. It became difficult during our last time here. Traveling was difficult for my dad. One of the biggest issues was knowing where to stop. It used to be that rest stops were a good place. However, it is not ideal for someone who is handicapped., as few have handicapped bathrooms. In addition, some are closing, In the state of Connecticut, they close at 3pm. However, Starbucks is a great place to stop, as they have family bathrooms. Since most caregivers are women, this is definitely helpful, as the caregiver (whether male or female) are able to go in and assist.


I have been thinking about my dad. The tradition of cooking, listening to music, and family drama continues. Sometimes there are arguments, dogs playing, and sometimes arguments. But, there is always great food. We are a gourmet family. And that stems from my dad.

My dad would have loved the oysters. He loved food.


Cooking has not always been joy filled for me. I used to be married to a man who didn't appreciate it. I am gluten-free and when we were married, I ended up cooking double meals, as he wouldn't eat gluten free. It became a chore, rather than a joy. After the marriage ended, I dated a man whom we had standard Friday night cooking dates. It was a great way to get to know each other. Although it didn't work out for him either, he is a good friend and found some comfort in cooking again.


Now it is just my mom and me. I still do much of the cooking but we make the decisions together. Cooking great food together is a way of community...what I have been missing. I still get out 3 plates out of of custom for my dad., as he is always with me when food is concerned.

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