Financials and Trauma and Changing the story
What is your definition of abundance and wealth? I grew up in a family where I was loved and supported. However, I took some wrong turns in life. I married a man who was all about himself. He would spend money on himself, but not me. Our marriage lasted 9 years.
About the time of my divorce, I moved in with my parents to get "back on my feet". Unfortunately, or fortunately (depending on how you look at it, I was thrust into the caregiving role. It was the most rewarding and challenging role I have had to date. Even now, when I look back on it, I realize how much I have sacrificed. But, I would do it all again, for a chance to be with my dad.
I have had a struggle with money, wealth, and abundance. I think part of this comes from the long period when I didn't have a regular income. It had been over 10 years since I had a regular job where I commuted to (or worked remotely to), and earned a salary. Early this year, I worked for a company, and was basically abused by the clients and company. It was clearly not a fit for me spiritually, mentally, or financially. However, I do not regret that opportunity, because I learned the lesson of routines, the lesson of voice (as in speaking up on something I disagreed with).
Having sacrificed my own lifestyle for my dad's health has been a challenge in finding what the natural rhythm should be. I recently finished my purpose equation and it revealed what is important to me. I am now being challenged, however, financially. We hear the terms abundance and wealth. I have never been someone that is intent on being rich. However, I do want to be able to live comfortably, to pay for my bills, the things that I want and need, to support those in need, and to travel the world. That is my definition. I was meeting with a friend today, and as she is also working on her purpose equation, we were able to talk things out.
I thought back to the times of job searching, where I was rejected over and over again. I wondered whether I was rejected because of actions I made that were self-sabotaging. I realized that some of my actions were, whether or not they were conscious or not.
I have spoken quite a bit about Neurosculpting. It is the belief that stories can be rewritten to change the brain. Instead of my stories from my marriage and lack of income from lack of income and of being "poor:" I am using the story that I am a compassionate, adventurous, bold person that can create a future of abundance that includes an income to support myself, those in need, with travel and community at the core.